I did not plan on writing today, or writing on this specific topic, but as I am on the journey to move past my comfort zone...what better way to do that than talk about Insecurities. Yup. You read that right. Insecurities. And boy do I have lots of them, So here we go!
Let me just start out by saying that I am a very sensitive soul. I'd say I'm a lot tougher now than I used to be, but still tend to read into situations with a negative outcome. Does that make senses? I guess I should give you some background... growing up I was always the kid that would cry too much and make "too big a deal" of things. And as the years passed and the bullying continued, I began to believe the lies I was being told. "Why are you so sensitive all the time?", "Can't you grow thicker skin? Gosh.", "Who would want to be with someone like you?"... yes... those things, and worse, have been said to me. Kids are mean sometimes. And for that reason I became very quiet and shy, not having many friends because I genuinely believed something was wrong with me.
Bullying is a huge dilemma while growing up, some kids experience it worse than others, but the fact is that those words tend to stick around as you grow older. You may not recognize it all the time, but it's there. Regardless if your insecurities are about physical beauty, mental health, or the kind of personality you have, it all revolves around an opinion. Either an opinion someone else has had, or your opinion of yourself. Yes, yourself. You can be just as mean to yourself as the person sitting next to you. I'm bringing this up because I was once told that words are like sticky-notes, and some sticky-notes are harder to remove than others. It's a matter of self-love and growth that'll remove them.
I'm going to tell you right now, I still have a lot of stick-notes left over from my childhood. I've overcome a lot, but not all of my hurt and insecurities are gone. And there are days where these doubts pop up and I can't seem to shake them. One that is very prevalent is the lie that "You're not good enough". Not good enough to be loved, not good enough to be wanted, and not good enough to have a successful happy life. That's deep and very raw.. but it's true. And I know I'm not the only person that feels this way sometimes. This lie was sown when I made the decision to believe it was true.. but it's not. The truth is that I am good enough.. worth enough. Worth being loved, worth being pursued, and worth being supported in life. And my worth is found in Christ.
I didn't realize this new found worth until I rediscovered my relationship with Christ. You see, He is the one person.. scratch that.. the ONLY person with an opinion that matters. He's the one that created me! So shouldn't I love and admire what He created? YES! When God thought of me, he thought of everything... and that includes my sensitivity. He created me to be sensitive for a purpose. To love people more freely, to deeply care and pursue my relationships, and to give endless amount of hugs. (even to people that hate hugs) The point is, yes I have insecurities.. but I am gradually learning to let those insecurities go and begin to love the whole person God created me too be. It won't change over night, but it is a step in the right direction to start pulling off more of those sticky-notes.
So, what sticky-notes are you holding onto? Maybe it's time to have a serious talk with God and begin the healing process.
You are created with a purpose. And God sees potential in you.
Words and opinions may hurt sometimes, BUT it's Gods words and opinions that hold truth.
You are worth your insecurities, You are worth fighting for, and You are worth loving.
"You are altogether beautiful, my love, there is no flaw in you."